Dearest Elisabetta with the big big heart,
what an intense and moving journey with you. I am happy and grateful that I was able to take part in it. And that your retreat kind of came to me, so to speak, at the very time when I had cleared some space for myself from work and my child and you had a free place for me at exactly that time.
I thank you sincerely and from the bottom of my heart for seeing me as you saw me and mirroring me so much in your honest way. For opening up the space for me to see myself again, with all the parts that have been given little space, to reconnect with myself, to feel and begin to value myself and my life, to start detaching myself from the narrative of the suffering woman, to reframe it and to give me impulses to perceive the beauties in life more. I appreciate how much you offer and how big your heart is. I admire your self-love and self-care, your clarity, strength and knowledge. I appreciate that you recognised my needs and gave them space to be and at the same time took me into a process of growing, also challenging at times. But with love and mindfulness, female power, with joy and dance, strength and gentleness. It was a moving emotional process that lingers. I arrived at the retreat so exhausted and extremely stressed. My nervous system was so overstimulated and the requirements to prepare for the retreat stressed me out to be honest because I could hardly focus on them and I felt pressure and some anxiety. I thank you that I could arrive well at the retreat on Filicudi and find some peace, relaxation and serenity, but also strength. Your impulses and your input are very precious, I have absorbed a lot and brought them with me into my busy, often hectic and demanding everyday life, in which I have to protect and defend my inner peace. I’m honest, it scares me a little to fall into old patterns and notice how the inner calm I’ve gained could fade. Your wise mantras have helped me since I’ve been back, I often have them in my head when everyday life is challenging again. And I shared some with Lena 😉
It requires focus and work to integrate what I have experienced and learned into my own life now. It’s an up and down, I strive to appreciate the small steps and listen less to my inner critic. I eat better, I sleep better, I embrace the little quiet moments and try to enjoy them, to be and stay present. Today my boab drops arrived and the affirmations you gave me do me good – they touch me and speak to me. I am able to distance myself a little better from people and events that are not good for me. “don’t fuck with my energy” :)) so good! I try to allow myself more space, more self centeredness, more boundaries and to treat myself with goodwill and respect, to practice accountability for me as an adult. “forgive and forget” often floats in my mind when I am too hung up on past pain. I take so much with me and thank you so much for all your support, affirmation and the love you have offered us.
You have a special ability and fulfilment in giving empowerment with your full energy. Seeing and supporting people and at the same time staying focused on yourself, taking care of yourself and staying in control. You have inspired me a lot and I want to continue to cultivate this mindset – without rigour, fear and the pressure to do everything at once 😉 to set aside the strictness while maintaining and protecting the focus. And to be a good mother and father to myself.
And of course dancing, lots of dancing, lots of music, enjoying my body and movement and to enjoy myself and my existence. Acknowledging the diversity within me and connecting intellect with body and intuition. To support my meditative mind and allow myself to develop visions and self-love. To trust myself and my inner powers more rather than to seek love and healing too much from others. And yet to take all the good and pleasure that is there and is coming or will come hopefully. without forcing it too much.
Elisabetta, thank you so much for this rich journey and for sharing your energy, wisdom and your presence!
Warm wishes, kisses and hugs from Berlin!